I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
