So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
