I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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