So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
