In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
