yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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