forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
