Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Green mimosas i think yes
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
