I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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