About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
