it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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