You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize