Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There's always time for handjobs
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
