So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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