K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
