Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
