she takes plan B like it's going out of style
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
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