I just saw a hot homeless man
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
