you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
