think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
