I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
