her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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