I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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