his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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