very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
