I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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