We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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