Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
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Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
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best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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