When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
