I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
