you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
