Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
