i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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