So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
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All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
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Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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