Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
you didnt know i had herpes?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
