Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
