WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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