Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize