im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
