How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
