im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
