i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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