If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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