Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
