He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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