i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize