with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
