He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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