the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i came on her dog
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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