I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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