You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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