I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
