I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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