The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
this is an emotional support booty call
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
