Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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