when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
