2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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