i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
drinking out of a sandbucket again
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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