i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
