what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
