I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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